Saturday, January 1, 2011

Starting the New Year with resolutions and justifications

Just to make sure I knew what I was talking about, I found the definition of resolve. According to wherever the web brought me, this is what I managed to find.

make decision: to come to a firm decision about something, or cause somebody to do this
solve difficulty: to find a solution to a problem
settle argument: to bring a disagreement to an end

That blew my idea right out of the water.
I thought that I could just lump resolve in the same category as diet. The d word usually makes me gain weight just thinking about it. It doesn't look like the resolution can fall into the same category.

So, with the best of intentions and a heart that loves her family, I resolve to:

Clean out stuff. I can't go to the extreme of getting rid of everything. Much of that stuff is a part of me and makes me smile. The non smiling stuff will go. Every week, 25 items will hit the garbage or the donation pile. I am taking the liberty to call a magazine an item and that qualifies under the firm decision part of the description. I started yesterday. I really did. The front hall closet is organized and clean. The pantry nearly done ... and I picked up sweater boxes last night at the store to complete my organization of that room. The computer closet was right behind it. In my cleaning yesterday I found school papers from 2006. There were neatly organized in a stand up file, but they existed. I also found this and just had to share. Paul's Hardware and Milk Depot ... I know they don't have a clue, but I really do miss them.

These, most definately, don't fall in that category. I just had to share a picture with you. Mom, you wouldn't believe how many surprised looks I've gotten when I told them that you had made my nativity set. It went back to the basement yesterday. Each piece lovingly wrapped in paper. Christmas got put away yesterday. Yes, I was a busy girl. :) Santa is still hovering at ceiling height and I need a ladder to get him down ... maybe he'll just stay up there. (As I reread this, I'm envisioning him hanging on fishing line somewhere. He really isn't!)  Jean told me once that leaving a Santa up all year brings good luck. I left one up last year ... maybe this year it will be the hovering one.

Back to the resolutions. The first was for my home. The next ones are for my family. They are the hardest ones. They definately require the firm decision thing and that gets so hard to do for more than a week or two. Jari & I never manage to go out for date night anymore. We have plenty of evenings spent at home alone and don't really feel the need to be running away from the house for dates. However, the one thing we really need to do is just skip out for a cup of coffee ... without kids. That's usually what we did anyway. A cup of coffee and maybe share a cinnamon roll. We're a cheap date and we're going to start again. He doesn't know it yet. I'll just tell him when it happens. Maybe not every week, but at least every other week I will take him out for coffee and spend some uninterrupted time dreaming again.

My children. I really did much better with the babies. Having bigger people kids and getting them to do things when they should know better is really grating on my nerves. I don't yell. I don't hollar. I don't shout. I get quiet. Very quiet. I figure it isn't worth the fight and the nagging constantly. I'm wrong. I resolve to nag. Just kidding. I do resolve to make them responsible for their decisions. I do resolve to start a consistent job list. I resolve to not be a pushover. I resolve to make decisions, set deadlines and dates, put them all in writing and get signatures from all parties involved. I therefore resolve to spend the next year helping make my children responsible and caring adults.
Dear God, please help them and me. 

Finally, there is me. I resolve to play. There are so many other duties that get done. They don't need resolutions or resolve. Bills get paid, I go to work, dinner gets made (or not!), laundry spins, cars get cleaned, floors get mopped, Sunday School gets taught, music flows from fingers as scheduled. All of that stuff happens. It has to or we cease to exist in any orderly fashion and my word falls apart. I have been better in the past 6 months about disappearing to my little hideaway in the laundry room with an audio cd and just playing. I no longer feel guilty doing that. That is a big accomplishment. I have given myself permission to play and have embraced it. I don't shop. I don't lunch. I like to create. I could resolve to lose weight ... and I'd gain it. I really do need to do some heart healthy exercising. That is on the list ... not a resolution. I'm only willing to go so far. This past week, Tia & I spent an evening at the table with watercolor paints. Pure bliss! This wasn't a creation of the evening ... this was a find from a few years back that I had forgotten existed. I am sorry for those people who have no interests. My interests and hobbies overflow the riverbanks of time allowed for them. So, I resolve to take more time to play. Whether it is with a paint brush, a sewing machine, the card making stash, the digital scrapbooking software, the baking pulla. I really don't care, but will play ... and I hope at least some of it will be done with daughters who join me and learn that creative playing may be essential to peace of mind.

I also resolve to spend more time connected with old friends. I miss them and believe that someday we will be back haunting the same places again and laughing with them. As for now, I resolve to let those people know how much I value them and their friendship ... in some small way.

May your New Year be happy, healthy and prosperous. I am On Call for the rest of the day. If I don't work you'll find me spinning laundry, washing baking dishes from yesterday, shampooing carpet ... and playing. Be good to yourself!

1 comment:

Jenny said...

you made me cry.
I like your list! I have a list too...but couldn't write it nearly as poetically as you!
I want to try to be a better/more patient mom. and spend more 'fun' time with my kids. I don't spend nearly enough time with them doing things like going to the zoo, or the park, or playing with them outside, or teaching them how to scrapbook, or take pictures, etc. I need to get Lindsey in piano lessons so she can read notes to the already many songs she knows how to play by ear. I need to sit down with Kierstyn at the computer and teach her how to digitally scrapbook...she SO badly wants to learn, and is constantly begging. I need to make more one on one time with Toni. I need to be more energetic with Alanys doing whatever it is she does...she is a Tia and Me all mixed into one! And with Trina and Taryn, I need to take more time to just sit and cuddle them and get down low and play with them.
But aside from that....I need to stop beating myself up when I have a 'bad eating' day! And I want to start with one room and go around re-organizing/organizing.
And I am with you on the friends thing...I need to find more time to pick up the phone or put a pen to paper and send a little not just to say hi!
I miss you!
Happy New year!!